Freakazette
by Roronoa Senshi
Summary: Dexter's cousin Danielle comes to stay with the Douglas family after deciding to move out of her home. While working on a report for school, she accidentally sets off the flaw in Dexter's pinnacle chip and becomes Freakette! How will D.C. cope with two blue-skinned freaks? How will the villains take to a new hero? Will the fourth wall ever be fully rebuilt?
1. Theme Song

**WE INTERUPT THIS STORY TO BRING YOU THIS IMPORTANT MESSAGE:**

**HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS ELECTRONIC DID THIS WEIRD CHICK REMEMBER US AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? I MEAN SERIOUSLY, WE WENT OFF AIR BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN BORN! HOW COULD SHE BE A-**

_**(Hey! Cut it out!)**_

**AND NOW BACK TO THE STORY**

…

_Super Teen Extraordinaire! Freakazoid! Freakazoid! _

_Runs around in Underwear! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!_

_Rescues Washington D.C! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!_

_Unless Something Better's on T.V! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!_

_His Brain's-_

"Whoa whoa whoa!" Freakazoid interrupted as the song suddenly ground to a halt. "Why is the theme song playing during a fan fiction?"

_(Because I want it to Freakazoid.)_

Freakazoid stared out at the author hiding in between the brackets.

"Oh yeah, well stop it. I mean, seriously. It's a story! Not a Show."

_(This is my fan fiction, I can do what I want.)_

"Still, I demand you stop!"

_(Either I do the theme song, or you get to spend the entirety of my story in the sewers with the poo gas.)_

"NO! NOT THE POO GAS! ANYTHING BUT THE POO GAS!"

He quickly ran towards the large Theme Music switch, and flipped it on. There was a grinding noise, and it started up again.

_-overloading. It has a chocolate coating._

_Textbook Case for Sigmund Freud. Freakazoid Freakazoid!_

_Check out Dexter Douglas, Nerd Computer Ace._

_Went Surfing on the Internet, and got Zapped to Cyberspace!_

_He turned into the Freakazoid! He's Strong and Super Quick!_

_He Drives the Villains Crazy, 'cause he's a Lunatic!_

_His home base is the Freakalair! Freakazoid! Fricassee!_

_Floyd the Barber cuts his hair. Freakazoid! Chimpanzee!_

_Rides around in the Freakmobile! Freakazoid! Freakazoo!_

_Hopes to make a movie deal! Freaka me! Freaka you!_

_He's here to save the nation! So stay tuned to this station!_

_If not, we'll be unemployed! Freakazoid! Freakazoid!_

_Freakazoid!_

…..

"There… Happy now?" freakazoid asked.

_(Yes. Yes I am.)_


	2. Ctrl, Alt, Delete

Terror grips the city of Washington D.C. Everywhere, people are running around and screaming like little girls, and little girls are screaming like little boys. Why is everyone running in fear?

"Because of me!"

A man with a hideously disproportionate head-

"Hey! I heard that!"

Ahem….. A man with a head shaped like a brain-

"Better!"

… May I continue?

"Yes yes! Get on with it! I'm tired of being a disembodied voice!"

… A Man with a head shaped like a brain was currently blasting the city from the sky with a gigantic laser cannon! It is The Lobe! The Smartest super villain known to man, women, child, and small animal!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The lobe laughs maniacally as he begins shooting his laser cannon around willy-nilly, hitting cars, buildings, and even that weird looking guy with the creepy grin.

_(What's that guy's name again?)_

Freakazoid stuck his head in and whispered in the author's ear.

_(Emmitt Nervend! That's right! Thanks Freakazoid!)_

Freakazoid smiled and ducked back out of sight. The Lobe continued his rampage of doom. Was there nobody who could stop him? No hero to save the day?

…

…

…

…

…

…

_(Freakazoid… That's you cue.)_

Freakazoid was sitting on a park bench, reading a superman comic book. He looked over at the carnage and immediately set the comic to the side.

"Sorry Superman," he said in a deep voice. "But I have a city to save!"

It was then that Cosgrove pulled up next to our brave hero.

"Hey Freakazoid!" he called. "Wanna go get a popsicle?"

"DO I?!"

Ten minutes later, Freakazoid sat with Cosgrove, eating a Popsicle.

"This is just what I needed today." Freakazoid commented.

Cosgrove nodded in agreement.

"By the way..." he said. "The Lobe is blasting the city to pieces with a giant laser cannon. You better get on that."

Freakazoid snapped his fingers.

"That's right! I'd almost forgot!"

He turned into a bolt of lightning, running off and leaving his Popsicle spinning in the air. He quickly came back, grabbed it, and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth. He then flinched and jumped around clutching his head.

"GAH! AH! BRAIN FREEZE BRAIN FREEZE! AH CRUD THAT HURTS!"

Cosgrove stood up and gently patted Freakazoid on the back. He slowly calmed down and then sighed in relief.

"Ahhhhhh that's better. Thanks Cosgrove."

Freakazoid struck a heroic pose, jumped in the air, then stuck his arms in front of him, and began running towards the Lobe while going "Whooooooosh."

He continued running, running all the way down the street, dodging the laser, and all the way up the machine until he reached The Lobe. He stopped about an inch from his face and screamed "Hiya Lobey!"

The Lobe shrieked like a little girl, and went falling off of his giant cannon and flat on his butt

"Freakazoid! What are you doing here?!" The Lobe exclaimed.

"I don't know... ask the Author!" Freakazoid replied.

_[You're here to fight The Lobe! Now get on with it already!]_

Freakazoid blinked in surprise.

"You're not the real author!" he accused. "The real author uses round brackets, not square ones!"

_[She took a potty break! I'm her friend Chris. I'm taking over for a- Oh There you are.]_

_(Hey Freakazoid. Sorry, had to go pee. Did I miss anything?)_

"Nope. No you didn't." he replied.

The Lobe smiled and waved.

"Not yet. We were just about to get started."

_(Alright… Let's get back to it then.)_

Freakazoid gave a mock salute, then turned to Lobe, who began frowning angrily.

"Long time no see! I thought you were in Timbuktu doing something with Jeepers' Golden Gophers!"

"That was 18 years ago, Freakazoid." The Lobe said while rolling his eyes.

"Oh!" Freakazoid exclaimed. "How did it go?"

"Well we- Hey! Stop getting me distracted!" The Lobe said as he ran back to the cannon.

The Lobe begins to aim the cannon directly towards Freakazoid when suddenly The Lobe feels a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey what does this button do, Lobey?" He said as he was nearing the Yellow Self-Destruct button.

"No! Don't touch -" The Lobe screamed only half of a sentence before Freakazoid pushed the button and sped off as a flash of lightning.

He looked down at the button, which was now fizzing with electricity.

"It's the waiting around that kills me… Wait didn't I say that before?" The Lobe said as he looked up to the author.

_[Yeah, um its Chris again. She took a break and I ran out of ideas for what line to give you, and let's be honest it wasn't like you were going to win anyways Lobe! Oh by the way the place is gonna blow in a second. Now that I've stalled enough, it's time for the fireworks!]_

"Oh, Poop." The Lobe said.

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!**_

…..

With the Lobe currently flying through the mesosphere, Freakazoid decided it was time to return home. It was already getting late, and by late I mean it was 5 am, and Dexter had school. Freakazoid ran to the Douglas household, running up the wall into Dexter's Bedroom. He stood in the center of the room.

"Freak in!"

A loud crash and a flash of light later, geeky little Dexter Douglas was standing where Freakazoid had been, dressed in his pajamas. He yawned heavily and stretched, climbing under his covers.

Right as Dexter was about to fall into a well-deserved sleep, His parents, who were fully dressed in regular clothes, open the door.

"Dexter, Guess What?" His parents say in unison in a voice that is a tad bit too cheery for five in the morning.

"We're out of pizza rolls again?" Dexter sleepily mumbled.

"No son, your cousin is going to be staying with us for a while!" Said again in the rather freaky unison.

"Oh boy, which one?" Dexter inquired

"Danielle!" The father, Douglas Douglas, proclaimed.

"Him?! Oh no! Not him! , He's worse than Duncan!" Dexter said in slight horror.

"No not Daniel, Silly! Danielle!" Debbie Douglas, The mother said in a still freaky tone.

Dexter groaned and his head sunk into his pillow.

"Why's Danielle coming to stay?" he asked through his pillow.

"Ever since she got that job with the Weird Butt news network, she's been trying to get an angle on that weird superhero that came around all those years ago."

Duncan shivered at the thought of the blue skinned freak who always wanted to "wrestle" with him. It always ended up with him on the ground having to something embarrassing to make the pain stop.

"We told her that she could stay with us until she got herself an apartment." Debbie explained.

"So starting tomorrow…. Or tonight I guess, you'll be sharing Duncan's room." Douglas added.

_(Bum bum BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!)_

Dexter groaned again and threw the covers over his head.

"If Freakazoid is a dream, then my life in a nightmare."

…..

In a few hours Dexter woke up to a strange and familiar voice

"Hi there, Dexter. Long time no see!" The person said.

"Da… Danielle? Is that you?" Dexter said with a slight groan in his voice, Dreading this moment.

"Who do you think it was, Nerd!? Now get up, you're in my room." Danielle said while tugging at Dexter's pillow. With one solid yank from Danielle, however, Dexter went face first onto the floor with a loud "THUD!" accompanying his fall.

Dexter looked up to see his cousin, a carbon copy of himself were it not for the long hair and the fact she's a girl.

"Well, are you just gonna sit there all day? Or are you gonna help me with my stuff?" The spunky cousin said with a playful streak in her voice.

"Sure, I guess." Dexter said begrudgingly

"Here, I'll help you, Nerd." Danielle said while rolling her eyes and picking him up.

"_First she makes fun of you, then she helps you up?!" _Freakazoid said from the couch of the freak zone, conveniently located in the back of Dexter's Mind.

"Shut up." Dexter mumbled under his breath while walking towards Danielle's suitcases.

"What was that?" Danielle inquired with a single raised eyebrow

"Oh! um nothing Danielle, nothing at all." Dexter said while picking up her gear.

"_Hahahahahaha! This is great stuff! Keep going." _Freakazoid said while taking a few bites of popcorn while watching what was happening through Dexter's eyes.

Danielle just shrugged.

"Aunt Debbie and Uncle Douglas said you'd been getting weirder. I guess I didn't know how much."

"_Oh if only she knew…"_Freakazoid thought.

Dexter just groaned and set her suitcases down on his bed.

"So how long are you gonna be here?" he asked, hoping it wasn't too long. His arms already had permanent intentions of Duncan's fists.

"Just a few weeks. Long enough for the deal to close on my apartment. But don't worry. With any luck I'll be out of your hair before the end of the month."

Dexter groaned again, and began gathering some clothes. As he opened the door to his room, Mr. Chubbikins walked in, chasing after a moth. Dexter was quick to intercept the cat.

"Oh no you don't." he said. "You're not allowed in hhere anymore. Remember what happened last time you tried to chase that moth?"

"_Yeah Dexxy… Do you remember?"_ Freakazoid mentally asked.

He groaned and carried the heavy cat outside, and dumped it unceremoniously on the carpet. He turned to Danielle.

"If you want to use my computer, my codebook should be underneath my Animaniacs comic collection."

"Thanks Dex. I am gonna need to use the internet to research this Freakazoid guy. My boss said if I could figure out how he came to be, he'd give me a promotion, and my own news section."

Freakazoid began jumping around the Freakzone like the lunatic he was, as happy as a kid on Christmas.

"_She's gonna be researching us! We're gonna be stars! We're gonna be famous! We may even get our show back!"_

_(Fat Chance of that Freakazoid. Sorry.)_

"_Aww Nutbunnys…"_

Danielle turned towards the computer and began accessing the internet. It loaded up, and as she went to find Dexter's codebook, Mr. Chubbikins pushed the door open, and went right after that moth again. He chased it across the tables, and across the computer, typing in an eerily familiar line of text.

" [=g3,8d/&fbb=-q]/hk%fg,"

Dexter caught the cat just as Danielle recovered the code book. She looked at the line of code and blinked.

"Stupid computer."

Dexter looked and saw the code on the screen, and his cousin's finger hovering over the delete key.

"Danielle NO!"

_Click._

…

**WE INTERUPT THIS STORY TO INCREASE DRAMATIC TENSION. PLEASE STAND BY AS AUTHOR(S) WAIT A VERY LONG TIME TO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS NEXT**


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